Here's the truth, completely unvarnished, and completely un-vegetarian-friendly:
I love bacon. I really love bacon.
When Abu Dhabi first came up as a relocation possibility, accessibility of bacon was a genuine concern. I had friends agree to be illicit bacon-smugglers for me, should I require their services. I don't even eat bacon that often, but the idea of being utterly and completely deprived was unsettling. And trust me, you never want something more than when it's just not available. (See also: living in the USA and craving ketchup chips or maple walnut ice cream.)
In the beginning, I felt uneasy. We'd gone out for brunch a couple of times since our arrival, and the bacon they served was always beef bacon (which tastes a little like a cross between steak and jerky and just isn't... crisp enough to deserve the name bacon, in my opinion) or turkey bacon (which can be an acceptable stop-gap, but will never serve as a complete bacon replacement). I ate my not-quite-bacon and dreamed of porkier times.
Then we discovered... the PORK ROOM. Our local grocery store has a glassed in, separate chamber. Above the door is a large "Non-Muslims Only" sign, and you have to press a button on the wall to gain entrance. It feels a little illicit, frankly. Carl says it reminds him of how, back in the days of video stores, there was always the ADULTS ONLY section in the back.
Only in this store, the back room is PORK ONLY.
Inside the pork room, one can find a dizzying array of pork products. Sausage! Ham! Pork chops! Split pea and ham soup!
BACON.
And not just any bacon, mind you. Our grocery store is a British Waitrose. They sell all kinds of British products. (My little anglophile heart swells at the very thought. Tea! Cadbury chocolate--even the Turkish Delight kind I've only ever seen in England! Butter!)
They sell British bacon.
Those in the know (Mom, Natalie, Sarah) are aware that, in a world of bacon love, British bacon is the bacon I adore best.
So, sure, perhaps it feels a little strange (and even borderline risque) to have to press a button to enter the SECRET PORK CHAMBER, but oh, for bacon (British bacon!) it's so, so worth it.
(And guess what? The Waitrose has ketchup chips and maple walnut ice cream, too!)
I love bacon. I really love bacon.
When Abu Dhabi first came up as a relocation possibility, accessibility of bacon was a genuine concern. I had friends agree to be illicit bacon-smugglers for me, should I require their services. I don't even eat bacon that often, but the idea of being utterly and completely deprived was unsettling. And trust me, you never want something more than when it's just not available. (See also: living in the USA and craving ketchup chips or maple walnut ice cream.)
In the beginning, I felt uneasy. We'd gone out for brunch a couple of times since our arrival, and the bacon they served was always beef bacon (which tastes a little like a cross between steak and jerky and just isn't... crisp enough to deserve the name bacon, in my opinion) or turkey bacon (which can be an acceptable stop-gap, but will never serve as a complete bacon replacement). I ate my not-quite-bacon and dreamed of porkier times.
Then we discovered... the PORK ROOM. Our local grocery store has a glassed in, separate chamber. Above the door is a large "Non-Muslims Only" sign, and you have to press a button on the wall to gain entrance. It feels a little illicit, frankly. Carl says it reminds him of how, back in the days of video stores, there was always the ADULTS ONLY section in the back.
Only in this store, the back room is PORK ONLY.
Inside the pork room, one can find a dizzying array of pork products. Sausage! Ham! Pork chops! Split pea and ham soup!
BACON.
And not just any bacon, mind you. Our grocery store is a British Waitrose. They sell all kinds of British products. (My little anglophile heart swells at the very thought. Tea! Cadbury chocolate--even the Turkish Delight kind I've only ever seen in England! Butter!)
They sell British bacon.
Those in the know (Mom, Natalie, Sarah) are aware that, in a world of bacon love, British bacon is the bacon I adore best.
So, sure, perhaps it feels a little strange (and even borderline risque) to have to press a button to enter the SECRET PORK CHAMBER, but oh, for bacon (British bacon!) it's so, so worth it.
(And guess what? The Waitrose has ketchup chips and maple walnut ice cream, too!)
Love this blog....makes me crave for a nice BLT right about now!!!! - with extra B!!!!
ReplyDeleteWaitrose is the best! So jealous!
ReplyDeleteI will bring you some nice American style bacon when I come ;)
This entire post is a 'that's what she said', lol. But I'm glad you found the secret pork chamber. If bacon were eliminated from my available foods, there'd be hell to pay.
ReplyDelete